also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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