god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Mom said you looked used
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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