The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
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Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
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This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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