I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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