Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Panties = found
Randomize
