So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
