Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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