I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
