I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Your shirt... Was in my pants
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
