I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
