The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
