now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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