How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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