I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize