mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
