his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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