What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
