I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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