Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
