i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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