We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
