I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
