i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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