Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
