Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
