is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
