Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just want to make out with him forever
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
