He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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