Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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