I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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