Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kaylaxkitten hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

Fav 26 7997 2392
share tweet
(505): View more from New Mexico

I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.

Fav 14 4271 1603
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

Fav 5 4144 1104
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw

Fav 21 1866 4013
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.

Fav 4 1071 2214
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.

Fav 10 2006 1228
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(574): View more from Indiana

I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.

Fav 3 2257 673
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(647): View more from Ontario

I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated

Fav 0 575 403
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.

Fav 0 9 47
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT