You can't motorboat a personality
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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