So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
