my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
