I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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