Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
