Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
