im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
sex in a hospital.. check
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize