I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
