its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
