let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
home. puking in laundry basket.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
