How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
