mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize