He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
