wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
