Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I understand Curling. That high.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize