so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
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College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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