I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
