So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
