i barfeds in our rink
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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