Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
