Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize