she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
