An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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