he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
