Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
