is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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