Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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