he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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