So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
