dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
