we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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