so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
